A cheap, legal alternative to amphetamine sulphate (speed, Dexedrine, …) for insufflation.

1 pack of 12 pseudoephedrine tablets (e.g., decongestants such as Sudafed (these have a coating which can irritate the nasal passage), Actifed (preferred), or Boots own-brand; beware the shop-floor versions, these contain phenylephrine which has no pharmacodynamic properties but can’t be used in the synthesis of meth, you want the version with pseudoephedrine hydrochloride, only available over-the-counter)
24 New Era Mineral Salts Q tablets (available online)

Make sure everything is bone-dry before you begin. Grind all the tablets together in a pestle with a mortar (preferably a stone, not wood, one). Scrape it out into an airtight container (such as a zip-lock baggy).

In total there should be 12 × 60 mg = 720 mg of pseudoephedrine in powder weighing about 3.6 g, giving the equivalent of 20% pure amphetamine sulphate, i.e., cut 4:1, which is about street average.

From Wikipedia: “The euphoric and locomotor-stimulating effects of amphetamine are dependent upon the magnitude and speed by which it increases synaptic dopamine and norepinephrine concentrations in the striatum.”

And: “[Ephedrine] is a CNS stimulant similar to amphetamines, but less pronounced, as it releases noradrenaline and dopamine in the substantia nigra.”

Both amphetamine and ephedrine have been and are prescribed as decongestants, anti-depressants, and for weight loss.

New Era Mineral Salts Q contain biotin which “contributes to the maintenance of normal mucosal membranes”. They also contain potassium and sodium salts which is useful if you take a lot of amphetamine/ephedrine since the potassium will mitigate against hypokalemia and the sodium compensates for that lost through sweat. Mainly, though, they make it easier to snort.

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Quick Soya Milk

I wouldn’t use this to make smoothies or a latte but it’s fine in tea and coffee, and for sauces and baking. Makes about 1 litre.

1 cup soya flour
3 cups cold water

Place the flour and water in a saucepan and stir or whisk thoroughly whilst bringing to the boil. Simmer for 20 minutes. Let it cool then strain through muslin.

If you want something closer to shop-bought soya milk then experiment with a pinch of salt, a teaspoon of sugar, and a tablespoon of vegetable oil.

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Faux Japanese Chicken Soup

This is not an authentic Japanese recipe. It’s something I knocked up on the spur of the moment for a dinner party and has proved popular. My friend has repeatedly asked me for the recipe and then forgotten it or lost it, so I am recording it here. I think this is right, but please feel free to leave comments. Serves 4.

2 chicken breasts, cut into 3/4″ cubes
oil for frying
1–2 fresh thai red chillies, thinly sliced
2–3 spring onions (scallions), chopped
1 litre water
tamari (or dark soy sauce)
wasabi paste

Heat the oil in a wok and stir fry the chicken pieces over a high heat for 5 minutes. Reduce the heat and add the chillies and spring onions. Stir fry for 2–3 minutes. Add the water, add tamari and wasabi to taste (it should have a delayed kick to it). Bring to the boil and simmer for 5 minutes.

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Onion Soup (Version)

3 large brown onions, thinly sliced
olive oil
1.5 litres veg stock
1 tsp white wine vinegar
1 tsp wholegrain mustard
s & p
demi-baguette, sliced 3/4″
mozzarella, grated

Heat the butter and olive oil in a large, oven-proof casserole dish over a low-medium heat, add the onions and fry until soft and browned; about 20 minutes. Pre-heat the oven to 180 ºC. Coat the baguette slices with olive oil and bake on a tray for ten minutes. Add the stock to the onions and bring to the boil. Transfer the casserole to the oven and bake for 20 minutes. Season to taste (it will be very hot). Float the croutons on the soup and cover with mozzarella. Return to the oven for ten minutes. Allow to cool a little before serving.

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Lettuce Soup

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Sweet Chilli Chicken & Carrot Stir Fry

1 chicken breast, cut into bite-size strips
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1/2″ ginger, peeled and finely chopped
1 carrot, cut into bite-size strips
2 small sweet peppers, cut into bite-size strips
veg oil
sweet chilli sauce

Heat the oil in a frying pan. Add the chicken and cook on a high heat for a couple of minutes until white on the outside. Add the garlic, ginger, and carrots. Cook for a few minutes. Add the peppers. Stir fry for a minute. Add a tablespoon of sweet chilli sauce (or to taste). Stir fry for a couple of minutes.

Serve with plain boiled basmati rice and peri peri sauce.

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Treacle Tart

250 g ready-made, pre-rolled puff pastry
150 g fine bread crumbs
1 small tin golden syrup
vanilla extract

Pre-heat oven to 180 ºC. Lay pastry onto a standard-sized dinner plate. Cover evenly with breadcrumbs. Heat the syrup in the can in the oven for a minute. Pour evenly over the breadcrumbs. Sprinkle with a few drops of vanilla extract. Allow to sit for five minutes while the oven heats up. Bake on top shelf for 12 minutes. Allow to cool slightly before serving.

The syrup can also be flavoured with rosehips, maple syrup, crushed cardamom seeds, etc., as suits your fancy.

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Turmeric Chicken

1 tsp turmeric
vegetable oil
2 chicken breasts

Heat the oil in a frying pan on the highest heat. Add the turmeric and fry for 30 seconds. Add the chicken breasts and cook for a minute. Turn over the chicken breasts, reduce the heat to lowest and cover the pan. Cook for 10–15 minutes until the juices run clear when the chicken is pierced with a blade.

Serve with plain boiled basmati rice and minted garden peas.

For extra spice, add half a teaspoon of dried red chilli powder to the turmeric, or serve with peri peri sauce.

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Roast Butternut Squash Soup

1 butternut squash, peeled, deseeded, and cut into 1″ cubes
2 carrots, cut into 1″ pieces
olive oil
1 red onion, peeled and finely chopped
1 tsp fenugreek seeds
1 tsp ground turmeric
1 tsp dhaniyajeera (half and half ground cumin and coriander)
1 tsp fennel seeds
vegetable ghee and/or vegetable oil
1 litre vegetable stock
s & p

Preheat the oven to 180 ºC. Add the butternut squash and carrots to a roasting tin and coat with olive oil. Roast for 25 minutes, baste, return to oven and roast for another 20 minutes until the pieces soften. Check it doesn’t burn.

Heat some oil and/or ghee in a large saucepan. Add the spices, stir for a minute, then add the onion and fry until soft. Add the stock and simmer for five minutes.

Liquidize 3/4 of the roast veg with the stock mixture. Return to the pan and add in the 1/4 of the veg left whole. Reheat and season to taste.

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When diet is wrong, medicine is of no use. When diet is correct, medicine is of no need. ~Ancient Ayurvedic Proverb

  1. Whether this is true or not, it tells us nothing about the jump from the first state ‘diet is wrong’ to the second ‘diet is correct’.
    1. We can assume a person — you or me, a friend perhaps — who is ill in some way and taking medicine. We can sit back and say, well, if your diet was more correct, you wouldn’t feel ill, would you like a banana? How does this person regain their appetite, through a course of broths? Or, how do they change their brain chemistry      , to favour adventure instead of pavlova? Is there a patient friend at hand, is there a chemical kick.
    2. The statement identifies two states, what about the process? Are we to sit around with the Ayurvedics or with Aristotle, Woody Allen, David Blaine, or your favourite fictional chemotherapist, and wait for diet to be correct.
    3. Let’s suppose we’ve mustered up the energy (sans medicine of course), to change our diet. Hmm, I do / don’t want to devour that avocado. Can I have a cranberry flavoured energy drink / can of sparkling elderflower — or is that medicine, o god, is ther ¥E AN ayurvedix to candy?
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